When I first saw this week's Listography topic, I thought I'd probably just have a week off . 'Celebrity' is something that does not interest me much and certainly does not excite me enough to inspire punch-like behaviour. I even have a soft spot for Miley Cyrus, arguably the most punch-worthy celebrity that ever walked the red carpet.
I read a few other contributor's lists and although I could certainly see their point, I still failed to reach that point where I was agreeing whole-heartedly and rolling my sleeves up to deliver the left hook.
Then I started to think about it. Really think. And I almost wish I hadn't! A flood gate of animosity was suddenly unleashed. Teeth were bared. Hackles were raised. Well, OK, I'm possibly exaggerating a bit but here are My Top 5 Celebrities I'd Like to Punch:
Annoying choirboy famous for his recording of Walking in the Air even though it wasn't the track used in the animated version of Raymond Brigg's "The Snowman". We thought we'd seen the last of him when his voice broke but no such luck. Annoying TV presenter, mediocre singer and stark reminder of how old we're all getting, he deserves a punch.
Now I am a big fan of High School Musical but that is in spite of the whiny, drippy female lead, not because of her. I could have forgiven her wet performance and let her off with a tut and a head shake but the Clearasil advert elevated her to 'Top 5 celebs I'd like to punch' status. This girl does not have problem skin and not even a bucket full of clearasil is going to bestow our impressionable, pasty teenagers with her perfect, glowing complexion.
I have absolutely no logical reason to be moved to violence by this woman. I like to think of it as some past life altercation between she and I that has left me with this skin crawling distaste I have for her. A good punch in this current incarnation might lay past wrongs to rest.
Jennie McAlpine who plays Coronation Street's Fiz Brown might be a perfectly lovely woman but I'd still want to punch her because she looks so much like her in-your-face, over-the-top, incredibly annoying alter ego. I might get my chance. I can't quite remember the date but sometime in the not too distant future I am having afternoon tea at the Lowry Hotel in Manchester with some members of the cast of Coronation Street. This was the prize from the Typhoo OO-Along competition that required you to upload a video of yourself OO-ing the iconic theme tune. My mum and my two year old OO-ed beautifully together whilst sharing a plastic tea-set cuppa and were runners up, along with my sister who blogged about her entry here.
Beloved star of seventies comedy The Good Life, Felicity Kendal was cute and blonde and funny and dainty and a bit posh and simply adorable yet had an underlying sex appeal that made her irresistible. In essence, Felicity Kendal was everything I wasn't nor could ever be. As a child trying to find out who I was, finding out who I wasn't was tough. Finding role models that I could relate to helped put my Felicity Kendal inadequacy to bed but it took a long time and the mere mention of her name makes me shudder a little bit. The rational part of me sees that she is a fine woman who is growing old gracefully and should be an inspiration. The other part of me still wants to punch her. The other part wins!