A discovery in the dusty archives

I have been doing a lot of clearing up, de-cluttering and reorganising lately - tackling the areas of chaos that I have steadfastly ignored on previous attempts to sort my life out. The mood has followed me into my little corner of cyberspace - deleting anything that served no useful purpose.

I found a draft blog post from the beginning of July 2011. Although I had published an abbreviated version as part of a Reasons to be Cheerful post, I had never published the full version. Neither had I deleted it. As I read through, every word I had written still rang true. Apart from the fact that my son is now three and a half and the cake is a very distant memory, I really could have written this post today. For that reason, I have decided to rescue it from the the dusty archives and publish it now.

Summer 2011

My baby boy turned one this week, which inevitably involved cake.

But it wasn't all about cake. It was a lot about reflection and celebrating the huge amount of joy that the little fellow has brought into my life.

I never expected to be a mum to a boy. I had four daughters in my first marriage and felt that my family was complete. I did not long for blue baby clothes and trains sets. My girls were everything to me.

When my marriage failed irretrievably I had no idea what the future would hold. I felt so blessed to find a man I truly love and we have a life together that is better than anything I might have dared to wish for. I did not expect babies to feature in my new life. I thought I was probably too old to have much left in the way of fertility. I am so glad that I was wrong.

My first child with my new man was another girl. Was I disappointed? How could I be? I had a beautiful baby girl that I fell in love with instantly.

Against the odds, when I fell pregnant again at the age of 46, I allowed myself to imagine what it would be like if this child was a boy. The pregnancy felt different and I wondered if that was an indication but I was far more concerned with having a healthy baby to give the whole gender issue much consideration.

When people said to me that they bet I was hoping for a boy this time, I would reply that  a boy would shake things up and be fun but a girl would fit much more neatly into my life.

I didn't get neat!

When that baby was born and I saw it was a little boy it was quite hard to take in. Even now, a year later,  I look at him and have to almost say it out loud YOU'RE A BOY.

He's a laid back, happy little soul, generous with his kisses and cuddles. He loves his food. He is strong and tough and has the softest skin. He loves anything with wheels. He has an expressive little face and a smile that shows his cute, baby teeth.

I love him with a whole new flood of love that came from a place inside me that I didn't even know existed.

He is my son. One day he will be man.

Reasons to be Cheerful

The fact that both my little ones are back to their normal naughty selves after such a long time of being ill with chicken pox and sickness, has made me incredibly cheerful.

We had a successful shopping trip to buy clothes and Dylan surprised us all with his penchant for modelling when we got home.

It may have cost an arm and a leg and a few extra limbs thrown in for good measure, but all the children and myself have had a long overdue trip to the hairdresser. For Addy and Dylan, it was the milestone moment of first haircut. Dylan sat beautifully while his fluffy, baby hair was trimmed into a 'little boy' style. Addy was less co-operative and considerably more vocal but we eventually came up with a strategy that worked. It was such a pleasure to wash and brush her hair last night compared with the usual battle with the tangles.

My husband has been away since Tuesday visiting his parents and his daughter from his first marriage. As far as I can gather, it is all going well which pleases me but I am missing him. I did, however, get to spend a lovely evening with him before he left, without the kids interrupting. I am always so grateful for the time we have together when the spark of magic, that makes me know I want to spend the rest of my life with him, ignites.

On Monday, we are off to Spain for a short break. Due to a mix up with dates, this trip falls in school time rather than the Easter holiday. Once we explained the situation, the kids' schools were really understanding and granted us leave of absence. Given that the first week of our Easter holiday was so completely consumed by illness, I am really happy that we are having this extension. It's actually more than just happy - I feel that I need it! Sunshine, relaxation and a goodly amount of Spanish wine should be just what I need to recharge the batteries ready to face whatever new challenges lie ahead.

Reasons to be Cheerful

I have a very big  Reason  to be Cheerful today - a headache of epic proportions that has plagued me for nearly two weeks has finally released its brutal grip on my brain. Waking up this morning without the need to reach straight for the Paracetamol was an absolute joy. I feel like I can actually start living again rather than just struggling to get by.

Another positive is that my little Addy is back at nursery today having been off with chicken pox. It broke my heart to see her beautiful milky white skin ravaged with angry blemishes but she is on the mend and 'chicken spots' and 'calamotion' are now part of her life experience and vocabulary.

Despite the health issues that have dominated the past fortnight, there have been plenty of good things going on.

ONE

My daughter Ivy celebrated her 21st birthday. This had to involve cupcakes, decorated to her specifications. There were the 'worms in mud' variety that tested my conquered phobia of the wiggly dirt dwellers and vast quantities of brightly coloured butter icing.

I am so proud of the beautiful young woman my little girl has become.

TWO

More celebrations followed when daughter, Taylor, passed her driving test.

The ability to drive is such an important step towards independence. I do feel as a parent it is my responsibility to facilitate the acquisition of the skill. This has meant paying out a lot of money in lessons (although I do expect a fair contribution from the learner too) and making time for driving practise.

I let Taylor down badly back before Christmas when she took her first driving test and failed. The practise sessions had been neglected and she was simply unprepared. We were not going to make that mistake twice. Taylor learned from failure and I realised how easy it is to let important things slip when you are juggling the needs of six offspring and a husband... and with a home to manage.

Becoming a qualified driver has given a confidence boost to Taylor as well as allowing me to pass another important milestone on my parenting journey.

THREE

The Aldi hamper of treats that I won at the TOTS100 Christmas Party finally arrived. I had all but given up on it so it was a lovely surprise when it was delivered. Among other goodies were two bottles of wine that I will definitely be enjoying now the Headache from Hell has departed!

ENTER HERE for the chance to win one of 5 sets of Crazy Soap (closes 31/03/12)

Reasons to be Cheerful

ONE

The furious pace of my life has calmed down ever so slightly now that the pantomime Charis was performing in has finished. No more rehearsals running late into the night requiring pick ups, no more desperately tired Charis crawling out of bed post-noon on non school days.

She was amazing in the panto (oh no she wasn't!!!! - I hear you cry). Despite swollen glands I could still hear her beautiful voice when she sang in the chorus and she demonstrated such poise and precision in her dance routines it was hard to believe that she has never had any formal dance training. As for her role as a Sat Nat, the clarity and command that she conveyed in her lines, belied her tender years. I could not have been more proud.

TWO

In my previous marriage, I was not very lucky with my in-laws. Now, I am blessed with a wonderful mother and father-in-law who unfortunately for us, live some 5 hours away in Brighton. We visit when we can but it is not often enough. We talk on the phone but it is not the same as actually seeing them.

I decided last month that I would try and keep them more up to date with the things that are happening in our life by writing them a monthly newsletter. For a mummy blogger, it is second nature to talk about home life and family. I wrote it much as I would a blog post, illustrated with current photographs, printed it off and sent it.

I received an absolutely lovely letter back from  my mother-in-law today, saying how much she had loved it and appreciated. How she had read it many times already and knows that if she needs cheering up, it is right there for her to pick up and read again. It made me so incredibly happy to think that such a small gesture on my part meant so much to her. I am already mentally planning my February update.

THREE

The sun shone brightly enough today to go out without coats and to sit in my conservatory with the door thrown open wide while the kids played in the garden. I made the most of my time by knitting a few rows of the trauma bear I am making for the West Mercia Police Family Protection Unit. It's coming along really well and although tinged with sadness thinking about the poor child for whom it is intended and the horrors of child abuse, it still makes me happy that I can do this one small thing to offer a little comfort.

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Red, Pink and White Reasons to be Cheerful

I'm not a huge fan of market shopping but I do enjoy the richness of smells, sights and sounds and the general hustle and bustle that my town's street market adds to my walk to and from school each week. I usually have a few pounds in my pocket just in case I spot a bargain and yesterday, I did.

I have a few favourite stall holders: the Flower Man who sells all sorts of bedding plants and perennials for very little money during the growing season, the Meat Man (unusual choice for a vegetarian!) who sells Kilogram half moons of Cheddar cheese with Chili (a favourite in our household) for just £4 (or two for £7 if, like us, you really can get through that much cheese), the Tie Man who has an amazing range of silk ties (I really want to find an excuse to buy the Edvard Munch 'The Scream' tie which I love) and finally, the Book Man.

It was the Book Man who had me reaching for my money yesterday. I bought the Usborne Book of Valentines Things to Make and Do for £1 and I am really looking forward to doing some messy Arts and Crafts with the kids inspired by the ideas within.

I have gathered up as many materials as I can find in various shades of red, pink and white and I can't wait to get started.

Best of all, next week is half term.

What are your Reasons to be Cheerful?

The Universe Smiles Back

Sometimes the Universe smiles back at you - even from the waste trap in your sink.

Reasons to be Cheerful

ONE

Top of the Reasons to be Cheerful this week has to be the beautiful weather. Although there is possibly a slightly sinister Climate Change connotation to the unseasonal warmth, I can't help but enjoy it. It was a little odd yesterday, however, as I relaxed outside on my inflatable sofa with a coffee and a crossword - sunshine worthy of a day midsummer day and autumn leaves dropping on my head!

TWO

This morning I spent a little time in the company of my neighbours  for a MacMillan Coffee Morning. It was a nice feeling to be part of a something to raise money for a worthwhile cause.

I am also trying to give something back to the community by getting involved in the fund raising committee at my little girl's school. I am delighted with how much she is enjoying the school experience and want to be as supportive as I can. We had a meeting at a local pub and although I think it will take some time for me to find my feet and understand how everything works, I am looking forward to helping out. As a bonus, it is giving me the opportunity to meet other mums and  make new friends.

THREE

Taylor has been struggling to write her Personal Statement for University applications. She had a reasonably good draft but it was 5 lines over the limit  for the UCAS requirement. It was a moment of great euphoria today after a tweak and a rephrase when she finally trimmed it down to the length needed. I have just read through it and feel very proud of where she is in her life and how motivated she is for her future.

Reasons to be Cheerful

I can't believe that it is Friday again so soon. Where has this week gone? Although the days have whizzed by in a blur, they have still provided plenty for me to be cheerful about.

ONE

I went to visit my friend Rose at the weekend. It was lovely to see her and chat about her plans for her wedding next year, but the remarkable thing about the visit was that learner driver, Taylor, used it as an opportunity to practice her driving. It was a three hour journey and she drove the whole way with only a few moments of 'undue hesitancy' and an incident with a pheasant! It has made me very confident that she is on track to pass her test.

TWO

Ivy is heading back to Uni this weekend but her long summer (which has properly turned into autumn now) at home ended on an amazing high when she won tickets to see her favourite band in concert with a backstage meet and greet. Her feet still haven't touched the ground after what she described as The Best Night of Her Life.

Ivy meets Hard Fi

THREE

The champagne was flowing on Wednesday as we celebrated the fact the my eldest daughter is about to become a home owner with her boyfriend. They are a still a way off having the keys in their hand but their offer has been accepted and all is progressing as it should be. I have had a look around the house and it is gorgeous. I am so happy for them.

More cheery posts at guest host Mum of all Trades.

Reasons to be Cheerful

ONE

My blog is one year old. It feels like only yesterday that I starting using this online medium to record my thoughts. It is lovely for me to revisit old posts, especially ones that show how much my little ones have grown over the months. It is also a huge bonus to feel part of the blogging community.

TWO

We had a bit of a Nursery wobble this week that involved Addy holding tight to my leg and shouting at the top of her voice "Not goodbye Mummy. Hello Mummy. Go away school". Although I hid out of sight and watched her tantrum turn to sweetness as she skipped about the playground with the lovely Mrs Edwards who had the task of prising her from my leg, it didn't stop me feeling like a cruel and horrible mummy.  This morning, however, she was absolutely perfect. A "Goodbye Mummy" and a kiss is a much better start to the day!

THREE

After the Bob's Big Build event in London, I met a lovely couple on the underground. Their young son loved Bob the Builder and they had been excited to see an advert for the Big Build in their newspaper. Although they were not given the wonderful VIP treatment that I was lucky enough to have had, they had clearly thoroughly enjoyed themselves. They were absolutely thrilled when I offered them a copy of The Big Dino Dig DVD and a packet of Giant Card Games that I had received in one of my goodie bags. It was priceless watching their son's face light up and it felt really good to do something nice for someone. I have another copy of the DVD and card game to giveaway if anyone has a little Bob fan who might like them. I would love to make someone else happy.

Bob the Builder Giveaway (winner drawn Monday 19th Sept)

Reasons to be Cheerful

ONE

My little girl starting Nursery school has turned out to be a very positive experience (so far!) for her and for me. She loves it and takes on a teacher role at home getting us to sit on the carpet and all join in for repeated renditions of Two Little Dickie Birds. For me, I am really enjoying the walk to and from Nursery, the three hours she is there when I can get on with some housework or spend one on one time with my little boy and I especially enjoy hearing all about her morning when I go to collect her.

TWO

In order to make the walk to and from Nursery with both my little ones a bit quicker, more fun and easier on a tired three year old not quite used to the routines yet, we have invested in a Buggy Board. It is a fantastic device, beautifully designed for the job. I impressed myself by not waiting for my husband to come home from work to fit it to the buggy. I struggled to focus on the tiny writing and diagrams that were the instructions with my ageing eyes but worked it all out eventually.

THREE

My husband and I have joined a new ballroom dancing class. I have missed dancing weekly after our last class closed due to lack of interest. It felt wonderful to be back on a dance floor again although our moves were a little rusty. It will take us a while to catch up with the other dancers, especially in the Paso Doble which we have never tried and they all seemed to be proficient at. We learned a new dance, the Viennese Waltz. It is a much faster and twirlier variation of the Waltz. As we only learned how to turn in a clockwise direction, we were fairly dizzy after eight or so spins. Next week we will hopefully get to practise the anticlockwise turn so we can make it all the way round the hall without landing in a disorientated heap on our backs.

Reasons to be Cheerful

Summer is definitely coming to an end but as I reflect back I can find many reasons to be cheerful.

It hasn't all been plain sailing. Depression did raise its unmistakably ugly head above the parapets of my sanity but the fact that I have put that particular episode behind me is a reason to be cheerful in itself. I am still not in possession of two fully functioning ears but the problem is improving and the silver lining to that cloud has been the understanding and empathy I now have with my deaf-in-one-ear husband.

We have worked hard on our home and garden to make improvements. It is always an ongoing process but I am now enjoying the rewards of a better organised home.

As well as working hard, we've played hard too with family outings and a lovely holiday to Wales where the 3 year old thought that caravan living was one big adventure.

My girls have been busy with their band, Not Quite, in terms of performances, songwriting and recording. As I type this post I can hear them rehearsing the harmonies on some new songs. They have been invited to 'busk' at a local Farmer's Market tomorrow and want to extend their repertoire.

Here are some of my Summer Reasons to be Cheerful in photographic form set to the music of original song, Draw Me a Picture, written and performed by my lovely girls - Not Quite.

Reasons to be Cheerful

ONE

The results of the AS level exams were released yesterday and Taylor did fantastically well. She was awarded grade As in Maths, Further Maths and Business Studies as well as Bs in Critical Thinking and ICT. For one of her maths modules she scored 100% putting her well on target to achieve a place at a top University next year in her chosen subject. A shorter term benefit was the excuse to celebrate which involved lots of Mexican food and laughter.

TWO

My friend Kirk is visiting. This always makes me cheerful. There is the added bonus that he is taking me and three of my girls to the V Festival at Weston Park this weekend. Just praying for dry weather now!

THREE

I went shopping and actually managed to buy myself some clothes. Nothing too adventurous but it was nice to come home with full shopping bags rather than empty handed.

Reasons to be Cheerful

ONE

I have spent all day yesterday and most of today painting. Not the 'create a masterpiece with your kids' sort of painting. Not even the 'splash a coat of imaginatively named coloured emulsion over the walls for an instant room makeover' sort of painting. I have been doing the painstaking  'glossing to protect your exterior wood from the elements' sort of painting.

Neither my husband nor I are big fans of uPVC double glazing (a simple fact that I really wish the dozens of salesman who are regular callers at my front door would grasp). We have some beautiful stained glass and I would hate to sacrifice it for the sake of slightly better sound and draught proofing. It does of course mean that we have the job of maintaining the frames and it is long overdue - hence the reason that I could be found outside with a paintbrush in my hand for the best part of two days.

It is hard work, especially the preparation and the cleaning up your brushes afterwards, but I am starting to see the results now. I have a long way still to go but it is looking good and that is very satisfying.

TWO

I took my 14 year old to get her ears pierced and do a bit of shopping on Monday. While we were in town we got her hair cut too. What a transformation! I took a young girl shopping with me and brought home a young woman. Here she is modelling her new look.

THREE

I had recovered enough from my 5K run by Tuesday to enjoy a lovely family bike ride along the Severn Valley cycle trail. We ran into a little bit of difficulty at the start of our ride in the sense that we were not actually on the bike trail to begin with. Before we found ourselves on the wide, well surfaced, signposted trail we had a bit of 'extreme' terrain to deal with - a narrow, bumpy track running along the river with tall stinging nettles on one side and a steep drop down to the water on the other. All a bit scary with a tag along trailer bike but we managed and it was very beautiful.

At Hampton Loade, we caught the steam train back to our starting point at Highley. 

Our three year old loved the experience of going on the train, especially when the whistle blew. It was a lovely day out, rounded off with a pub lunch and an ice lolly on the drive home. Simple things, but it is usually the simple things that give me reasons to be cheerful.

Reasons to be Cheerful

ONE

Taylor passed her driving theory test today. 

TWO

Charis is back from Spain looking healthy and happy.

THREE

We had a lovely impromptu family barbecue to celebrate ONE and TWO above while the sun shined.

Reasons to be Cheerful

ONE

We were unbelievably lucky with the weather at the weekend for our day out at the Pandamonium in the Park event. I'm sure it would been miserable if it had rained. As it was, the sun shone on the Chinese themed family activities and displays.

The highlight of the day was the concert of music from Kung Fu Panda and other wonderfully evocative movie themes by  Hans Zimmer and John Powell, performed with passion by the amazing orchestra. My personal favourite was the theme from Pirates of the Caribbean - but then who wouldn't want to have images of Jack Sparrow conjured in their mind?! 

I couldn't work out why everyone was so impressed by this Shaolin Warrior's handstand that I photographed because I liked his muscles and orange trousers.

What my bad photograph failed to capture was that the 'hand'stand was actually a two finger stand. Here he is again psyching himself up for the incredible feat of strength and balance.

TWO

After weeks of rehearsals, daughter Charis finally had the opening night of the play "Splash" in which she had a leading role as Preston Parrot. She delivered her lines confidently and sung her solo with the beautiful clear voice that still catches me by surprise. I felt so proud of her and enjoyed spending time with my mum who is a loyal supporter of her granddaughter's theatrical pursuits. 

THREE

My cold which has been sabotaging my weight loss efforts and making me feel generally miserable is retreating. I have no excuse now. Time to get back on track with my diet. I am so close to being where I want to be in terms of body shape and fitness and I am beginning to feel back in control, energised and ready. If I can actually see the numbers on the scale heading in the right direction again, that really will give me a Reason to be Cheerful.

Reasons to be Cheerful

I'm a little later with this than I usually am, not because I had no Reasons to be Cheerful, rather I had too many and they were all keeping me very busy!

ONE

It is Carnival Weekend in the town where I live and today, at least, the sun shone beautifully on the festivities - festivities that included my girls' band 'Not Quite' doing a live performance of some of their original songs and covers. There where some issues with the sound system but they battled through and were well received. Once again I felt immensely proud. They will be playing again tomorrow in a marquee amidst the main attractions. 

TWO

My first husband took himself very seriously which didn't leave much room for laughter. I am so grateful that my husband now has no such issues. 

If our son wakes up in the night, it is usually my husband that goes to him and tries to settle him - or if that fails, brings him to me. 

My husband prefers to sleep naked.

So as not to find himself in the awkward position of bumping into one of my grown up daughters on the landing with his bits on full display, he usually pops a pair of undies on before going to the baby's room.

We are both suffering a bit with tiredness at the moment for all sorts of reasons (most of them good). When the baby started to cry, my husband sat up and got out of bed on auto pilot. As usual, he went to his  underwear drawer. What happened next changed my casual disinterest in his activities into alert bemusement. Instead of putting on his underpants, he took out a pair of socks and put them on. He then proceeded to go and fetch the baby with his little black ankle socks pulled up high and his manly bits in full  glorious view for all to see. 

Thankfully, my girls were all in their rooms and oblivious to the ridiculous sight of their stepfather.

It wasn't until he handed me the baby and saw the look on my face that he even realised that anything was amiss.

We did laugh.

THREE

I really have to stop referring to our son as 'the baby'. He turned one year old this week which meant (amongst other things) cake. I always love an excuse to bake a cake.

As well as cake (oops - there goes the diet again!) it was a time for reflection and celebration and thinking about how much joy my little man has brought into my life.

He is such a laid back, happy little soul, generous with his kisses and cuddles. He loves his food. He is strong and tough and has the softest skin. He loves anything with wheels. He has an expressive little face and a beautiful smile. He is my son and I adore him. What better Reason to be Cheerful?

Reasons to be Cheerful

My children always give me so many reasons to be cheerful:

ONE

With the help of Ivy, I took my two little ones to an Aqua Tots session at our local swimming pool. They both absolutely loved it. It made me feel a bit guilty that I don't make the effort to take them swimming more often but maybe I will now. The swimming pool has a No Photographs policy so rather than showing you two little water babies in their cute swimming costumes,  I can only show you the result of all that exercise and fun.

 

TWO

My daughter Taylor turned 17 this week. Her provisional driving licence arrived through the post on her birthday and she has already taken two of the lessons that we bought her to get her started. She came back from her first experience of being behind the wheel with a big smile on her face and saying "I am an awesome driver". For the sake of our finances, I am seriously hoping that means she will pass her test with the minimum number of lessons!

THREE

Daughter Charis has been performing in a play with the local Amateur Dramatic and Operatic Society. I have tickets for me and my mum (the only other family member with thespian aspirations) to go and see her on Friday. I am sure she will be fantastic and make me proud but I will be very glad when it is all over. The rehearsal schedule and the late nights are starting to really take their toll.

Reasons to be Cheerful

My reasons to be cheerful this week are:

ONE

Glorious sunshine and half term holidays :)

TWO

My 20 year old daughter, Ivy, bought her first car today - a step in the right direction towards complete independence.

THREE

My girls will be performing with their band 'Not Quite' at a local pub this Sunday. It will be their first gig that doesn't involve an audience consisting entirely of family and friends. I've been loving listening to them rehearsing and no doubt will be a teary eyed and proud mum on Sunday.

Reasons to be Cheerful

ONE

On Monday, we had our belated Royal Wedding Street Party. It was a little blustery but the sun shone and I had a lovely time. It was a really good opportunity to meet the neighbours that, despite our proximity, I rarely see. My little girl enjoyed playing with another little girl of a similar age that I vaguely remember being born then forgot all about. Hopefully, she can now become a regular playmate.

We did have one embarrassing moment when my little girl decided it would be fun to decorate an elderly neighbour's mobility scooter with Union Jack flags then climb on and make racing car noises!

TWO

Tomorrow, we are having the second of our Alphabet Dates. I am enjoying making plans for that.

THREE

My daughters have been invited to play a set at a local music festival that gives new bands an opportunity to showcase their talents. I don't have all the details because it is Liberty who is liaising with the organiser but I am very excited to see how four girls playing instruments together and singing are suddenly becoming "a band". 

As well as that event to look forward to, Charis is also performing in two upcoming amateur dramatics productions. Rehearsals are well underway and costumes are starting to appear.

Nothing gives me more pleasure than supporting my children in their endeavours and having my moment to be the proud mummy in the audience.

Reasons to be Cheerful

My reasons to be cheerful this week are having....

ONE

... a relaxing, pampering manicure.

TWO

... a friend like Kirk.

THREE

... a long, birthday weekend to look forward to (47 years old and still smiling!)