Haemorrhoids - a pain in the bum

Picking up a prescription for Amoxycillin from the chemist last week, I sat waiting for the pharmacist, staring absent mindedly at the tidy rows of medications for sale on the shelves in front of me. As absent mindedness came into a more aware focus I noticed that the medications demanding my attention were for the treatment of haemorrhoids.

Haemorrhoids is a common affliction for pregnant woman and women who have recently given birth yet it is rarely spoken about. Why is it that we think very little of intimate internal examinations involving two fingers of a midwife yet the idea of varicose veins around the anus remains largely taboo.

I feel a bit strange about writing this post. Do I really want to admit to anyone who cares to visit my blog that Yes, I suffered from haemorrhoids?

And suffer I did.

The itching is bad enough, making it very difficult to get comfortable. And the more you try to  ignore it the more persistent and all consuming it becomes.

When it is causing pain, it is so much worse.

During the course of a normal day, there would not be many times when you are actually aware of your own anus. It nestles discreetly tucked away between the cheeks of your bum, ready when you need it but hardly impacting on your consciousness in any way. However, when the veins around the anus are swollen causing the pain and discomfort that for me, became all too familiar, there was no distracting myself from that otherwise unassuming body part. I started to feel defined by it. It was all there was. I felt dirty.

And there was yet worse to come. At some point, the unavoidable need to use the toilet would catch up with me. Sometimes it was hard to believe that my body hadn't been torn open in an excruciating, brutal fashion - because that is what it felt like.

I was so young and inexperienced when I had my first child. My relationship with the baby's father wasn't great and I certainly could not have shared my intimate concerns and expected a sympathetic ear. I suffered completely in silence with my affliction and would have been mortified to have to mention it to any of the medical professionals that I was in contact with. I kept hoping that somehow they would just know and offer something to  relieve my suffering but of course that didn't happen.

It cleared up and I put the horror of it behind me.

I suffered with each of my subsequent babies. By baby number six, the familiarity was such that it was almost like the return of a barely tolerable old friend. Older and wiser, and in a much better relationship, I was able to send my husband out on Preparation H or Anusol buying missions and treat the whole sorry situation with humour. However, no matter how much you are able to laugh about it, it doesn't stop it being (and there is no better way to say it) a monumental Pain in the A*se.

Despite being in a much better place to deal with an embarrassing and seriously unpleasant condition, I was horrified when I ever plucked up the courage to actually look at what I was dealing with. The reflection in the mirror of that place the sun don't shine was NOT a pretty sight. I'm not a particularly squeamish person but I recoiled in disgust at the purple protrusions that looked swollen to the point of bursting. It was SO wrong.

Sitting in the chemist, feeling quietly smug that that my anal blood vessels were behaving themselves and giving me no cause for embarrassment or misery any more, I observed the treatments available.

There was an impressive selection of ointments, creams, suppositories, sprays and soothing wipes.

I wished with everything that there is to wish on that I could load my basket up with one of each, travel back in time to a young woman trying to deal with the isolation of a bad marriage, the anxiety of a becoming a first time mum to a projectile vomiting baby and the discomfort, pain and fear of a problem she was too embarrassed to mention. At least one of her burdens could have been made lighter.

Libido during pregnancy - is it a way of predicting baby's gender?

As I was looking through everybody's Reasons to be Cheerful I was reminded that Carole at Carole Finds her Wings is 2 weeks away from her due date.

For Carole and anybody else who is pregnant this Valentine's Day, here are the results of a survey conducted by Hipp Organic:

Don’t let being pregnant take the spice out of your Valentines Day!

This Valentines Day, don’t let your bump get in the way of enjoying yourself with that special someone. Whilst sex might be the last thing on your mind when you are expecting, a recent survey conducted by HiPP Organic, the leading experts in nutritious baby food, found that over a third claimed to feel their horniest during the second trimester of pregnancy! 

However if you really can’t think of anything worse than getting close to your partner this Valentines Day but don’t want to completely banish the romance from your life, why not spice things up a little and take a tip from the 65% of mums claiming to try the more reputable method such as eating hot curry to speed up labour. After all, there's nothing wrong with a romantic takeaway night in with your loved one. And according to HiPP's Mum’s Know Best survey...it’s also the quickest way to the delivery room!

The recent 'Mums Know Best’ survey commissioned by HiPP Organic, which uncovers the trials and tribulations of modern day motherhood was conducted amongst over 11,000 women via the brand’s reputable online Baby Club www.hippbabyclub.co.uk

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With my babies number five and six, not even the hottest vindaloo was going to shift them (and I did try!) I had to resort to a hospital induction both times.

As for libido during pregnancy, I found that there was an enormous difference between my desire for sex when I was pregnant with my girls and when I was pregnant with my son. With my girls, I was embarrassingly horny most of the time. In my last pregnancy, that gave me my lovely little boy, I was expecting that same level of insatiability but it never happened. I did wonder if this was just me or if other mothers had noticed this pattern. If there is some connection between libido and baby's gender then I'm surprised that it isn't well documented. It has to be a better prediction tool than the swing direction of a ring dangled from a piece of string over a pregnant belly.

If anybody has any stories of libido during pregnancy that will corroborate or dispute my claim that horny=girl baby, not horny=boy baby, please leave a comment. I would love to know if there is any anecdotal evidence to support my theory.

Look out for my upcoming reviews of products from the Hipp Organic range. 

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